Why I Founded Teen Moms Anonymous
A Community-Based Support Group Program
Pastor Rick Warren has said, “Your greatest ministry will come out of your deepest hurt. Your greatest ministry—your greatest contribution in life—will likely flow out of your deepest pain.”
This has certainly been true for me.
Teen Moms Anonymous was born out of my painful relationship with my mother. Our relationship was not loving—it was contentious and fraught, with interactions that more often than not ended in argument. This dynamic persisted throughout my adult life. (And to be completely transparent, while my communication with my mother has improved, I still struggle in our interactions.)
As a young adult, I couldn’t understand why our relationship was so strained. Then one day, something happened that became a turning point in my life. I read a report on violence, abuse, and teen pregnancy, and for the first time, I understood what existed between my mother and me: unresolved trauma.
My mother had not healed from the violence and abuse in her life, and as a result, she was unable to nurture my emotional development or provide what a child needs from a mother. I had resented her for not being the mother I needed, without fully understanding what she herself had endured.
Reading that report marked the beginning of my own journey of recovery and healing—from the violence I witnessed in her life and the abuse I endured as the child of a teenage mother. Twenty years later, after progressing far along that healing journey, I founded Teen Moms Anonymous to give women like my mother an opportunity to heal—an opportunity she never had.
Violence, Abuse, and Teen Pregnancy
I write about the report that changed my life in my award-winning book, Helping Teen Moms Graduate. The report explained how violence, abuse, and teen pregnancy are deeply connected—intertwined in ways that are often overlooked.
Key findings from the report include:
- Many young women—up to two-thirds—who become pregnant as adolescents were sexually and/or physically abused at some point in their lives, either as children, in their current relationships, or both.
- A substantial number of adolescent mothers—no fewer than one-fourth and as many as 50–80%—are in violent, abusive, or coercive relationships just before, during, and after their teen pregnancy.
- Younger teen girls are even more vulnerable to violence and abuse than older teens. One study found that involuntary sexual activity occurred in 74% of sexually active girls younger than 14 and 60% of those younger than 15.
- The report emphasizes that the true prevalence of violence and abuse may be even higher, as such experiences are frequently underreported due to fear, shame, or family silence.
The report further explains how violence and abuse can lead directly or indirectly to teen pregnancy:
- Some teens become pregnant directly as a result of interpersonal violence, including incest, sexual abuse, or birth control sabotage.
- Others become pregnant indirectly through conditions associated with prior sexual or physical abuse.
- Abused children may remain in unsafe environments where they are exposed to ongoing sexual advances.
- They may experience emotional and psychological harm that increases vulnerability to coercive or violent partners after leaving home.
- As adolescents, they may struggle with depression and self-medicate with drugs or alcohol.
All of these circumstances significantly increase the risk of teen pregnancy compared to adolescents who were not abused as children.
The report concludes that it is imperative for parents to heal from their own experiences of violence and abuse. Without healing, it can be difficult to form secure attachments, offer consistently nurturing interactions, or attend to the emotional needs and development of their children.
This was the reality in my relationship with my mother—and it is precisely where Teen Moms Anonymous comes in.
Teen Moms Anonymous
Teen Moms Anonymous is a community-based support group program for teen mothers and adult women who were teen mothers, particularly those who survived violence and abuse.
Our mission is to provide participants with information, resources, and opportunities to heal, grow, and become more confident, skilled women and mothers. I founded Teen Moms Anonymous to give women like my mother the opportunity to heal from their own violent experiences. As they do their healing work, they become better able to form healthy attachments, offer consistent nurturing, and support the emotional development of their children.
Established in 2020 and serving the Greenville/Spartanburg area of South Carolina, we offer weekly in-person support groups. We do not offer virtual or online classes.
From Deepest Pain to Ministry
Pastor Rick Warren’s words ring true: “Your greatest ministry will come out of your deepest hurt.”
My greatest pain—my contentious relationship with my mother—has become my greatest ministry and contribution to life: helping young mothers and adult women who were once young mothers heal from their own experiences of violence and abuse. As they do this work, they are better able to attach, nurture consistently, and support the emotional development of their children—interrupting cycles of trauma that have persisted for generations.
For more information, visit www.teenmomsA.org
