I had to learn to receive all criticism as constructive, to chew the meat and spit out the bones. Some words carried wisdom I needed, and some I had to release without letting them define me. Everything spoken over me was not meant to break me; some of it was meant to refine me. I also had to learn to face the hard questions, because what you avoid today, you will have to confront tomorrow. True growth came when I stopped running from discomfort and allowed it to develop my strength, wisdom, and faith. Growth requires honesty, courage, and the willingness to confront what hurts. Most of all, I had to stop being afraid to pray honestly. I had to check myself and say, 'Girl, how are you afraid to tell the One who knows all, sees all, heals all, and restores all?' God already knew what I was carrying. He was simply waiting for me to come to Him so He could heal me, strengthen me, and lead me forward. That is how I learned to process criticism without letting it shake my confidence.

I was seven months postpartum when my dad lost his battle with suicide. A few months later, as the shock wore off, I was confronted with a dialectical reality: I was both loved and left. Learning to hold opposing truths simultaneously gave me a choice in where I place meaning. I choose the perspective that helps me grow, even when reality is uncomfortable. This mindset has allowed me to take something that could have destroyed me and transform it into purpose, direction, and momentum. I can be doing my best and still have room for improvement, as both can be true. I aim for realism in assessing my abilities and understand that not every opinion about my performance will be accurate; however, the ones that are will help me grow. I've learned to receive what is useful and release what is not, trusting that what truly matters will continue to surface.

I learned to not let in the moment feedback define my identity and to translate feedback into coaching actions

One of the biggest lessons in my journey has been understanding that every person speaks from their own framework of what is "right" or "wrong", shaped by their experiences and limitations. Learning this allowed me to respect different perspectives, but more importantly, to respect myself. I realized that external opinions define me only when I am unclear about who I am. The more connected I became to my mental health and to something greater than myself, the easier it became to filter what truly matters. Today, I don't navigate criticism by reacting to it, but by standing firmly in my own clarity.

At the beginning, criticism felt personal, and it was hard not to internalize it. What shifted for me was realizing that feedback is information, not identity. I started separating who I am from what I do. That space allowed me to grow without losing confidence. Also, I became more intentional about whose voices I valued, which made all the difference.

Early in my career, one of the hardest pieces of feedback I received was that I was "too direct, too aggressive, too intense." At the time, it was tough to hear. I've always been deeply committed to results, and my intention was to be clear and efficient, not overwhelming. But that wasn't how I was being perceived. I went through a period where I questioned myself a lot. I felt guilty, and at times I overcorrected, holding back more than I should, worrying about how I came across instead of focusing on the value I was trying to bring. It wasn't an easy shift. What helped me was learning to separate intent from impact. I realized that feedback wasn't a judgment of who I was. It was insight into how others experienced me. Instead of trying to change my essence, I worked on reframing it: Directness became clarity with empathy Intensity became passion with presence Assertiveness became strength with awareness Over time, I found a balance. I didn't lose my voice. I refined it. Today, I actually see that feedback as a turning point. It helped me grow into a leader who can be both clear and kind, firm and inclusive. Processing feedback without losing confidence is not about becoming someone else. It's about evolving, intentionally, while staying grounded in who you are.

Over time, I have learned that confidence doesn't come from avoiding criticism, it comes from building enough experience to recognize what's worth integrating and what isn't. Staying grounded in my goals, seeking input from people whose work I respect, working with and for people who are appreciative and respectful, and continuing to build from experience have helped me trust my own direction without being derailed by every outside opinion.

Early in my journey, I realized that criticism only becomes dangerous when you allow it to define your identity instead of refine your growth. Over time, I learned to separate noise from wisdom and to listen with humility, but not abandon my inner voice or self-worth in the process. Not every opinion deserves equal weight. Some criticism is projection, some is valuable feedback, and some is simply the price of choosing to lead, innovate, and challenge the status quo. What helped me most was understanding that confidence is not built by avoiding criticism, but by continuing to move forward despite it.

In my undergrad program, I studied broadcasting and that field requires an ability to receive constructive feedback in order to enhance performance. Also, being a former college athlete, it too necessitates an ability to be coached up in order to succeed during games. Both of these areas informed my professional work on how to receive feedback as well as, in a supervisor role, how to give feedback.

Feedback is a gift, because people offer it because they care about the work and/or you. When offering critical feedback, remember to offer it to the individual as a gift as well.

I learned to process feedback without letting it derail my confidence by asking for specific examples. That helps me better understand expectations and identify areas where I can improve. At the end of the day, I always ask myself whether I gave my best to the community I serve.

Early in my career, I learned to separate constructive feedback from personal criticism and view it as an opportunity to grow rather than a reflection of my worth. Staying confident in my work ethic, technical knowledge, and values helped me use feedback to improve without losing sight of who I am or what I bring to the table.

I had to learn a little later on to separate correction/criticism from personal worth. Remembering my strengths, and recognizing how far I have come helped me stay confident while still being teachable. Feedback is often meant to strengthen growth rather than diminish ability and constructive criticism is essential for both personal and professional development so I welcome it.

Once I learned to walk in my identity as a child of God, I knew who I was and Whose I am. No one and nothing can change that Truth. Fixing my eyes on Jesus allows me to not get derailed, no matter what goes on around me.

One thing I learned early on is that feedback, criticism and self reflection are not only very humbling in nature but a way to grow and connect on a level that is more meaningful. When we switch the mindset from punitive to constructive ways to grow, being humbled can be refreshing!

I process criticism by listening for the truth and ignoring the tone when I can. Some people are intentionally rude or unkind, and the way they criticize says more about their own poor social skills and insecurities than the actual subject matter. But most of the time, they simply lack the emotional intelligence to package the message in a way that makes it easier to receive. If there is truth in the criticism, I have been given information I can work with for self-improvement and that is a gift that in no way derails my self-confidence. If it is just mean-spirited commentary with no basis in fact or truth, I just remember that it is OK for people to be wrong sometimes and it is their turn. I don't usually waste time educating people about tone unless I must maintain an ongoing relationship with them.

The first thing I do is tell the person I will need some time to consider their comments and that I will not respond immediately. I then take a day or so to consider what was said and determine when and if I need to respond.

My mother's example taught me how to process criticism without losing my center. I grew up watching a woman who didn't need anyone's approval to do what she had to do: provide, love, and serve her family and her community.

I have just always looked at criticism as an opportunity to grow and make myself better. Knowledge is power. I've always been open-minded and welcomed criticism, especially in the workplace. If you don't have some criticism, you'll never learn anything. And no one is better or higher above than anyone else.

During the early years of my career the hospital system in Lafayette, Louisiana provided an extensive orientation along with an exceptional Preceptor. Initially, I shadowed her and was given complete autonomy which strengthened my confidence as a nurse. Throughout the years as confidence built, more advanced skills replaced our basic knowledge. As someone once quoted: "We've come a long way baby."

Years of being on the front line as a physician helped me to know what I am capable of. During those years I also learned that no matter how much people love you or what you do there will always be someone who finds fault. My response, that is their problem not mine. I know who I am working for and as long as God is pleased with me, I am okay.

I am still working through it, but mostly I had to digest the feedback and make sure not to get defensive, because I took it personal. I treated it as data/information. This exercise helped me not to affect my confidence but treated it as new information that I have to understand its content and context and take what works and disregard what does not serve me at the time.

People will always have their opinions but you must always remember your why and don't let what they think stop you.

Critics are not accidents, they are planted in your life as mirrors. They show you your blind spots. They show you what you avoid seeing. If someone makes you angry, they are not creating anger, it's already seated deep inside you, they are just revealing it. If someone triggers jealousy or greed or insecurity, it already exists within you. They simply bring it to the surface.